This post is specifically for ‘mummy bloggers’ or newbies thinking about becoming one, sorry everyone else. Oh, and ‘daddy bloggers’, I haven’t forgotten about you, I know a lot of people leave you out so I’ll touch briefly on you guys… just briefly. *Shade purposely thrown.
Now, this isn’t some kind of ‘How To’ directional type of post, more of an observational one. I’ve been in this parenting blogmosphere for about two years now, going to bloggy events for the last year, and I’ve basically come to the conclusion that everyone just really needs to stay in their own lane. That’s pretty hard if you don’t know what your lane is.
There are the elite UK Blogger Mums. These are the ones with 50K plus Instagram followers. They seem to get all the invites and live off of what what they blog about. You’ll spot them a mile off, they usually sport a brown Bob and their attire consists of denim, and black and white stripy tops. They turn up to events, get their picture taken whilst talking to the other elites, and then leave before the event has finished. Free drinks, pics taken, leave. They only need to be there long enough to get their presence noticed and decent pictures for Instagram.
Then there are the 20k’ers (Bloggers with 20k Instagram followers). These ones are fully playing the game, they may even hold events to get the elite ones on their side. They will talk to everyone, but focus on getting snaps with the elite bunch, purely to seem like they’re in with them. It’s a bit like that Black Mirror episode when everyone rated each other, and only the highest rated ones could hang with each other (and if you haven’t watched it, you should).
Then there’s me… or the me-types: the 10k’ers. We’re not quite sure where we belong, hitting that 10k mark was the best, but because of new Instagram Algorithms people will assume we bought followers. At events we’ll talk to anyone and everyone, new types of possible connections or friends if we’re lucky. We might bump into a 40K’er not realising who they are and they’ll either be really nice in hope that you end up following them or their eyes will glaze over in hope of spotting another elite UK Mummy Blogger. This has happened so many times. Mid-convo they’ll start talking over you about themselves. I’m not sure if it’s an anxiety thing or if they really are rude enough to think that your conversation really doesn’t matter… *Eyes glaze over… spots a mummy who has 100k followers! Elite Mummy Bloggers, this makes us feel really small.
I like meeting the relatively new mummy bloggers or the ones who have under 10K followers. They’re so friendly and excited. They haven’t necessarily had those conversations where the other person purely spoke about themselves or their kids. They’re fresh and new and full of ideas, they’re the ones who have spotted me in that Motherhood sweater… yep, we’ve all got those. They’re the ones I usually end up following, their pictures aren’t necessarily the best, or have thousands of likes, but they’re here for the same reason. They enjoy what they do. *Switches on notifications*.
The best type of Mummy Bloggers are the ones who listen and ask you questions. They’re the ones who seem genuinely happy to be at the event and will talk to anyone. They’ll probably know of the elite and follow even if they don’t like them, purely in hope that Instagram will suggest their feeds to anyone who follows them. Yeah, I know your game, it’s cool, I do it too. These Mummy Bloggers will have a laugh, have a drink and be happy to mingle with like-minded people. These are the mummys that make me turn my Notifications on, they only talk about themselves or their blogs when asked, they’re humble, they’re chill, they’re normal. Well, normal-ish.
Ok, So I mentioned the Daddy Bloggers, but I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting any in real life! Events that I’ve been to are Mummy-specific, which is fine, but I think a little unfair. I don’t think it’s particularly hard to get a following if the dad happens to be good-looking, has cute kids and – more importantly – married or partnered with an already established Mummy Blogger. Chuck in a bit of humour and they’ll get the mummys following. I sometimes think, if these guys banded together, they could come up with something awesome, but at the moment it seems like a lot of them are looking at mummys or each other for the answers to being successful in this blogging world. The best ones, the ones who stick out for me, are the ones who don’t give a frig about numbers, games or even other people. I think they’re the ones who will make it. After all, parents, if all you have to offer are cute pictures of your kids, what are you going to do when they all grow up?
I’m guilty of looking at the big ones, the parent bloggers who have the 100k followers, even the ones who have 50K… but I’ve realised something, we all just need to stay in our own frickin lane.
Lanes, haha, lanes are funny. Now that I’ve realised that I should indeed stay in my own lane, I need to figure out what lane that is. Yes, yes, yes, be myself and all that, but that’s incredibly difficult with out a squad. Whom do I gravitate towards? We’re all put in boxes, what box would I be put in? Google “Mummy Blogger” you will be met with a plethora of bobbed stripy topped white mums. None of which look like me. The elites are all over page one of that search. So do I aim my words at black mums? Will that alienate the bloggy friends that I have made already? After all, I love meet ups where I know I’m going to bump into them. A lot of my followers are white mums, so really, i’d be shooting myself if I did that. I’m hardly a Punky Mum, or a glam yummy mummy, or even any type of stereotypical mum, so what box would I fit in? Maybe thats a good thing? I’m not sure. Maybe the fact that I don’t fit into any of these boxes is even more reason to stay in my own lane, whilst reminding others to stay in theirs?
There are parent bloggers that love seeing others do well, and there are some that will try to imitate or wish they had done what you did. Ignore. They wont last very long and people will smell the desperation a mile off- I can always tell if people are being fake, and I think your followers can too.
So if possible, admire others, stay on your path and think about what you want to do to make your mark. And please, if I meet you and I can’t remember your name its’s not because I think highly of myself… I’ve literally got the crappest memory when it comes to names. I’m one of those people that can watch 10 seasons of a programme and refer to a character by how they act. Eg, New Girl, -Schmidt would be ‘The main guy who lives with Jess, he liked her best friend and started dating her, then they broke up but they got married or something’ That long sentence would be his name in my head. Long I know, so don’t hate me if I do it to you. Especially you ‘Mum with the cute kid who did something funny that time and everyone said how cool it was’. Yeah, You.
*Note, if i’m come across even lightly bitchy I apologise. Also, if you are in fact an elite and found yourself reading this whist placing your bobbed hair behind your ears and adjusting your stripy top, again, apologies… I’m only apologising if you are in fact one of the nice ones.
Sareta Fontaine is the founder of Kiki Blah-Blah; a modern lifestyle blog aimed initially at mum’s but has since grown. Since 2016, Sareta has worked on the platform, both designing and creating a space for other bloggers to share their thoughts and feelings, while also sharing hers.