If you follow my Insta Stories, you’ll know that I’m a bit of a movie buff, if not, gurl, where the heck have you been?! The new release of the film Lady Bird (On DVD) had me thinking about what it was like growing up and what pearls of wisdom I would give myself if I could, in fact, do it all again.
Lady Bird is a coming-of-age comedy which has all the teen angst that I encountered as a young adult, I wasn’t as confident as the main character seems, but the underlining theme seemed to be quite similar. Relationships between mother and daughter, friendships and even finding yourself, it’s all there. The film itself had me thinking, what would I say in a letter to my teenage self?
I think the main reason I always wanted a daughter was so that I could pass on what I’ve learnt. Being a woman and growing up doesn’t come with a manual, so I could pass on my knowledge and raise the best version of myself. That’s not how it works. They may share features and mannerisms, but kids are individuals, they are not replicas of their parents.
Since I don’t have a daughter to pass this on to, I thought an open letter to my teenage self would suffice. I’ll start off by saying this…
You are enough
You are enough because you are beautiful.
You are enough because you don’t need to look like anyone else.
You are enough because you don’t need to lose weight to be pretty.
You are enough to be who you want to be.
You are enough to be on your own and leave; you are enough because you will meet someone else.
It’s ok if you don’t get the grades that you want.
It’s ok if it takes you longer to get to where you want to be.
It’s ok if you have to work ten times harder than everybody else.
It’s ok if you don’t get into the university you wanted to get in to, its ok because you made it this far.
You are allowed
You are allowed to be angry.
You are allowed to cry.
You are allowed to be selfish.
You are allowed to walk away.
You are allowed to start again.
You are allowed to do all of these things because you are enough, and you matter.
Know your worth because you have so much to share. You don’t realise it now, but there’s nothing that you can’t do because you are enough.
Sometimes, it is them, and not you, but it’s ok
You are allowed to do all the things that you want to do because you can, you do have time, and you don’t need anyone else to make you whole. You don’t need anyone to validate you, because ultimately, it doesn’t matter.
Remember that you are in control, you can do anything that you put your mind to. If it doesn’t work out, then move on, dust yourself off and start again. Failure gives you an opportunity to try another option, but at least you get to try. Otherwise, you’re left with ‘what ifs’.
You can’t see into the future, but you can look at the past and see the missed opportunities. Don’t let their insecurities dull your shine.
Friends will come and go, see them as encounters that you need at that time. As you grow, so do they. You may grow together, but you may reach different stages at different times. That’s ok.
Surround yourself with equally awesome people, your tribe should lift you, and never intimidate or question your worth. Continue you help those who help you but realise that you cannot help everybody.
It’ll all make sense in the end, I just hope that the middle-aged me listens to all the advice that I’ve given you. Hopefully, we’ll get it in the end.
*Sponsored post, however, all thoughts and opinions are totally my own*
Sareta Fontaine is the founder of Kiki Blah-Blah; a modern lifestyle blog aimed initially at mum’s but has since grown. Since 2016, Sareta has worked on the platform, both designing and creating a space for other bloggers to share their thoughts and feelings, while also sharing hers.